Don't you just hate it when you get called out by your 5 year old?
So... For the last month the girls and I have been at all out WAR! Jenni has been the worst, being that she is 5, in school, and just really likes pushing boundaries. Her favorite question is - and has been for the past 4 years - WHY?
Sometimes she really does want to know why. She has a legit question about why I have said what I did... and I do my best to give her answers.
HOWEVER.... When she is asking why for the 500th time about something I have already explained to her 499 times I kind of lose it.
When I was a teenager (because I didn't dare question my mother when I was Jenni's age), I would ask my mom about the decisions that she made. Her answer, not always, but usually, was, "Because I said so." Being a teenager, I refused to accept this answer, and would FIGHT my mom... not the best choice, I know, but it is what would happen. Because of that, I promised myself that I would not give the answer, "Because I said so!" to my children.
THAT IS A HARD PROMISE!!!!!
I have tweaked the words to be, "Because that is how God made it." when the answer eludes me after the 100th why in a row... especially when the question is along the lines of, "why is _____ called a _____?" With that question, if it is about an animal, "why is a rhinoceros called a rhinoceros?" then I also have the answer of, "because that is what Adam decided to call it." But I have yet to answer, "BECAUSE I SAID SO!"
Well... yesterday brought the war to a peak. I took the girls to Church by myself (Sean wasn't feeling well) and it didn't matter what I said, the girls would fight me on everything. The only good thing about it was that they were united together... if only they weren't united AGAINST me. I got home from church and was at the end of my rope. I told Sean about everything that had happened and he laid down the hammer.
Sean started out with, "When your mother tells you to do something you do it. If you ask why, know that the answer is, 'because your mother told you to'! The Bible tells you to listen to your mom, to respect your mom, and to obey your mom! You need to listen to your mom.
So, Sean said it for me. I now have a "because I said so!" loophole. That is encouraging!
Well, the girls went upstairs to play and things were going pretty well. Sean let me have a nap and he was dealing with the whole parenting thing.
At around 5:00pm I went upstairs and it was as if a bomb EXPLODED up there. I told the girls that they had to clean up the upstairs. They both said, "okay!" and I went downstairs.
At 5:30pm I went upstairs again and instead of it being cleaner it was messier than the first time.
"Girls, have you done any cleaning?"
"No, we've been playing. We don't want to clean up."
"Well, I am going to start making supper, and if you are not done cleaning you don't get to have food."
"Okay mom!" they both said.
Well... 6:00pm came and dinner was on the table. The upstairs was still not clean. I had to stick to my guns because my girls need to take me seriously. Sean and I had a nice dinner together, and the girls were still upstairs... refusing to clean.
Sean told the girls, "You are going to bed in 1 hour... If your rooms are not clean then you go to bed without supper."
By 6:30pm Maria had cleaned her room and was downstairs wanting some supper. Sean made sure that her room was actually clean, and then she was given her food... (of course Maria was the first to cave)...
6:40pm Jenni yells downstairs, "Dad, I'm tired. I'm going to go to bed. I will clean my room tomorrow." Sean obliged her, but told her, "You do not get breakfast until your room is clean." Her room was just as disastrous as it was at 5:30 when I went up. She really did not want to clean.
Maria went to bed, and Sean and I had the evening to ourselves... we watched some YouTube, I worked on a project that I am making for Jenni...
Around 10:00pm Jenni came downstairs and was hungry. Sean asked if her room was clean. Of course it wasn't, because she actually did go to bed at 6:40pm. Sean told her that she didn't get food until her room was clean. She said she would wait for breakfast. (Stubborn little thing!)
I put Jenni back to bed and we had a little conversation about why it is important to clean up our room.
"Jenni, it is important to learn how to clean your room properly, so that when you are a grown up it will be easier for you to keep your house clean."
"But mom, you don't keep our house clean. Our house is messy." (OUCH... What a kick in the pants!)
"Jenni, I know I have a hard time with keeping the house clean. It is easier to clean the house and our rooms if we do it every day and so the messes are smaller... So let's work on it together. We can both work really hard at cleaning every day."
"Okay mom. We will work on it together."
I was totally schooled by my child. I have already given Jenni the speech about how it is important to keep our space clean because it is our job to take care of the things that God has given us... But for her to call me out on how I struggle with keeping my own house clean... That is a kick in the pants. So, as I am writing this I have my dishwasher running, a load of laundry on, and when I am done I will continue with my daily tasks.
I really do struggle with keeping my own space clean. I don't mind cleaning up after myself so much, but cleaning up after everyone else is a big struggle for me. And to make it worse, this is my JOB! I am a stay at home mom, and I have the job of keeping the house clean... If I was employed by someone else I would have no problem keeping the space clean... But I have to be self motivated to keep my house clean. I don't like cleaning my house, so why would I make it a priority?? I have my answer....
MY KIDS ARE WATCHING ME!!!! If I want my children to care about their spaces and clean up after themselves, then I need to make sure that I care about my space and keep my space clean.
Well... to finish the Jenni saga... at 7:00am Jenni woke up. She came and asked me if she could have breakfast. I asked her if her room was clean... she said, "YES!" Then I asked her if her bed was made... "I'll be right back!"
She did it. Her room was super clean and her bed was made and so she got her breakfast.
Some people might think I am horrible for withholding food from my children, but I have tried so many other tactics... they don't work with Jenni. She is more stubborn than a German mule. She can hold out for a long time, because she WANTS to win! She wants to beat me... it is my job to teach her that authority wins... not her.
It is also my job to teach my daughters that it is important to keep our home clean. It is not JUST my job to clean the house, but it is my job to take pride in my own home and manage the jobs that need to be done. So... here we go... making the house a home and honoring God with how we spend our time.
Stupid self discipline... Guess I am going to have to work on that journey again this summer...
So... For the last month the girls and I have been at all out WAR! Jenni has been the worst, being that she is 5, in school, and just really likes pushing boundaries. Her favorite question is - and has been for the past 4 years - WHY?
Sometimes she really does want to know why. She has a legit question about why I have said what I did... and I do my best to give her answers.
HOWEVER.... When she is asking why for the 500th time about something I have already explained to her 499 times I kind of lose it.
When I was a teenager (because I didn't dare question my mother when I was Jenni's age), I would ask my mom about the decisions that she made. Her answer, not always, but usually, was, "Because I said so." Being a teenager, I refused to accept this answer, and would FIGHT my mom... not the best choice, I know, but it is what would happen. Because of that, I promised myself that I would not give the answer, "Because I said so!" to my children.
THAT IS A HARD PROMISE!!!!!
I have tweaked the words to be, "Because that is how God made it." when the answer eludes me after the 100th why in a row... especially when the question is along the lines of, "why is _____ called a _____?" With that question, if it is about an animal, "why is a rhinoceros called a rhinoceros?" then I also have the answer of, "because that is what Adam decided to call it." But I have yet to answer, "BECAUSE I SAID SO!"
Well... yesterday brought the war to a peak. I took the girls to Church by myself (Sean wasn't feeling well) and it didn't matter what I said, the girls would fight me on everything. The only good thing about it was that they were united together... if only they weren't united AGAINST me. I got home from church and was at the end of my rope. I told Sean about everything that had happened and he laid down the hammer.
Sean started out with, "When your mother tells you to do something you do it. If you ask why, know that the answer is, 'because your mother told you to'! The Bible tells you to listen to your mom, to respect your mom, and to obey your mom! You need to listen to your mom.
So, Sean said it for me. I now have a "because I said so!" loophole. That is encouraging!
Well, the girls went upstairs to play and things were going pretty well. Sean let me have a nap and he was dealing with the whole parenting thing.
At around 5:00pm I went upstairs and it was as if a bomb EXPLODED up there. I told the girls that they had to clean up the upstairs. They both said, "okay!" and I went downstairs.
At 5:30pm I went upstairs again and instead of it being cleaner it was messier than the first time.
"Girls, have you done any cleaning?"
"No, we've been playing. We don't want to clean up."
"Well, I am going to start making supper, and if you are not done cleaning you don't get to have food."
"Okay mom!" they both said.
Well... 6:00pm came and dinner was on the table. The upstairs was still not clean. I had to stick to my guns because my girls need to take me seriously. Sean and I had a nice dinner together, and the girls were still upstairs... refusing to clean.
Sean told the girls, "You are going to bed in 1 hour... If your rooms are not clean then you go to bed without supper."
By 6:30pm Maria had cleaned her room and was downstairs wanting some supper. Sean made sure that her room was actually clean, and then she was given her food... (of course Maria was the first to cave)...
6:40pm Jenni yells downstairs, "Dad, I'm tired. I'm going to go to bed. I will clean my room tomorrow." Sean obliged her, but told her, "You do not get breakfast until your room is clean." Her room was just as disastrous as it was at 5:30 when I went up. She really did not want to clean.
Maria went to bed, and Sean and I had the evening to ourselves... we watched some YouTube, I worked on a project that I am making for Jenni...
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| The center square that I am working on for an Afghan for Jenni |
Around 10:00pm Jenni came downstairs and was hungry. Sean asked if her room was clean. Of course it wasn't, because she actually did go to bed at 6:40pm. Sean told her that she didn't get food until her room was clean. She said she would wait for breakfast. (Stubborn little thing!)
I put Jenni back to bed and we had a little conversation about why it is important to clean up our room.
"Jenni, it is important to learn how to clean your room properly, so that when you are a grown up it will be easier for you to keep your house clean."
"But mom, you don't keep our house clean. Our house is messy." (OUCH... What a kick in the pants!)
"Jenni, I know I have a hard time with keeping the house clean. It is easier to clean the house and our rooms if we do it every day and so the messes are smaller... So let's work on it together. We can both work really hard at cleaning every day."
"Okay mom. We will work on it together."
I was totally schooled by my child. I have already given Jenni the speech about how it is important to keep our space clean because it is our job to take care of the things that God has given us... But for her to call me out on how I struggle with keeping my own house clean... That is a kick in the pants. So, as I am writing this I have my dishwasher running, a load of laundry on, and when I am done I will continue with my daily tasks.
I really do struggle with keeping my own space clean. I don't mind cleaning up after myself so much, but cleaning up after everyone else is a big struggle for me. And to make it worse, this is my JOB! I am a stay at home mom, and I have the job of keeping the house clean... If I was employed by someone else I would have no problem keeping the space clean... But I have to be self motivated to keep my house clean. I don't like cleaning my house, so why would I make it a priority?? I have my answer....
MY KIDS ARE WATCHING ME!!!! If I want my children to care about their spaces and clean up after themselves, then I need to make sure that I care about my space and keep my space clean.
Well... to finish the Jenni saga... at 7:00am Jenni woke up. She came and asked me if she could have breakfast. I asked her if her room was clean... she said, "YES!" Then I asked her if her bed was made... "I'll be right back!"
She did it. Her room was super clean and her bed was made and so she got her breakfast.
Some people might think I am horrible for withholding food from my children, but I have tried so many other tactics... they don't work with Jenni. She is more stubborn than a German mule. She can hold out for a long time, because she WANTS to win! She wants to beat me... it is my job to teach her that authority wins... not her.
It is also my job to teach my daughters that it is important to keep our home clean. It is not JUST my job to clean the house, but it is my job to take pride in my own home and manage the jobs that need to be done. So... here we go... making the house a home and honoring God with how we spend our time.
Stupid self discipline... Guess I am going to have to work on that journey again this summer...
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| Even though they can drive me crazy, the are really stinking cute! |
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